The Feel Better/Get Better Trap

Introduction:

In our perpetual quest for happiness and well-being, we often encounter a common yet overlooked dilemma I like to call the "Feel Better/Get Better Trap." As a clinical mental health counselor, I've observed a recurring pattern where individuals seek immediate relief from distress, potentially overlooking the deeper, more sustainable path to healing. This blog post aims to dispel the myth that therapy can make things worse and to guide you through the intricate journey of therapy – a journey that might initially intensify discomfort but leads to lasting well-being.

Understanding the Feel Better/Get Better Trap:

Humans are innately programmed to seek comfort and avoid pain. It's a survival mechanism that serves us well in many scenarios but can be counterproductive in emotional healing. In the pursuit of feeling better, we might gravitate toward quick fixes – binge-watching, excessive work, social withdrawal, or even substance use. While these strategies might offer temporary solace, they often sidestep the root causes of our distress.

Therapy, in contrast, encourages a deeper exploration. It's akin to cleaning a wound; initially, it might sting, but this is a crucial step towards healing. The objective of therapy isn't to plunge you into discomfort but to guide you through it towards lasting stability and health.

Case Study: Alex's Journey Through Therapy:

Consider Alex, who came to therapy feeling overwhelmed by anxiety and work stress. Alex's initial approach was to work longer hours, hoping to alleviate the stress by staying on top of tasks. This strategy provided temporary relief but soon led to burnout and increased anxiety.

In therapy, Alex learned that this was a classic "Feel Better" strategy – it offered immediate but fleeting comfort. Through guided exploration, Alex began to confront deeper issues: a fear of inadequacy and a long-standing pattern of avoiding conflicts. Facing these issues was uncomfortable and at times painful, something Alex hadn't anticipated when seeking therapy.

However, as Alex continued with therapy, a transformation occurred. By working through these uncomfortable truths, Alex developed healthier coping mechanisms and a more profound sense of self-worth. The journey wasn't easy, but it was effective. Alex's story exemplifies the "Get Better" approach – a path through discomfort towards genuine, lasting well-being.

Why Therapy Might Feel Like It's Making Things Worse:

In the early stages of therapy, as you peel back the layers of your experiences and emotions, it's not uncommon to feel a surge of discomfort. This can be mistaken as therapy making things worse. However, this discomfort is a sign of progress – a necessary step in confronting and healing from issues that have likely been avoided or buried for a long time.

The Role of a Therapist in Your Journey:

A therapist's role is not to hand you a quick solution but to walk with you through the complexities of your emotions and experiences. As your guide, a therapist helps you navigate these difficult waters, providing support, insight, and strategies to cope with and ultimately resolve these deep-seated issues.

Closing Thoughts:

The path to true emotional well-being isn't always comfortable. The "Feel Better/Get Better Trap" is a compelling concept that highlights the paradox of healing. As you embark on your therapeutic journey, remember that feeling worse initially is often a part of the process towards achieving a more authentic and sustainable "feel good" state.

If you find yourself struggling with this paradox, know that you're not alone. Therapy is a powerful tool, and with the right guidance, you can navigate through the initial discomfort to a place of profound and lasting well-being.

About the Author:

Jerry Wheeler, LMHC, NCC, is a dedicated professional with over two decades of experience working with kids, young adults, adults, and their families, first as a coach, clinician, and business professional, and now as a clinical mental health counselor. With an approach that is empathetic, straightforward, and intuitive, Jerry is committed to helping you not just feel better, but get better. For more insights or to embark on your own therapeutic journey, feel free to reach out and begin the conversation towards lasting emotional health.