You Might Not Need Therapy
Recently, I wrote a post, “When it might be time to seek out therapy”. There are times in your life when things have gotten away from you. You’ve tried what you know to do, and it is not working. You’re spinning your wheels. You aren’t sleeping. Yes, it might be time for therapy. Go read that blog to learn more.
This is not that blog. This is the opposite. Maybe you DON’T need therapy. Yep, I said it. Here’s the truth, there are many paths to healing and growth. Therapy can be one of those paths and it is not the only one. It isn’t. This is especially true if you haven’t really tried anything else yet.
Now, here’s the caveat I want to mention right away, because this is what I see so often. So many people believe that taking an antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication is going to solve their problems. Go to the doctor, get a script, I’ll be okay. I can tell you what I see. They rarely provide the panacea that clients are hoping for. People put too much emphasis on medications to do all the heavy lifting. Medications can help you to get on neutral ground. They are necessary in many cases. And yet, what I often hear is, “The medication worked at first, but now it’s stopped working.” The majority of the time, medication is only ever part of the path, not the whole path.
So if you aren’t completely on the medication path, what else is there? Let’s talk about some other options. We can explore these options through an informal assessment.
How’s your sleep? Are you prioritizing your sleep? Are you in a season where you aren’t able to get much sleep? If your sleep is poor, you can’t really know what is going on until you address it. When you are sleep deprived everything sucks. Everything feels harder than it should. People feel like jerks. You may not be depressed. You might be sleep deprived. Check in with your sleep hygiene. Are you valuing and taking care of your sleep? You might not need therapy, but you may need to really invest in sleeping.
Are you getting outside? Did you you there is a thing called “Forest Bathing?” There is! It’s a popular practice in Japan. Hospital patients with a view of nature and trees from their room heal faster than those that look out on brick walls or another building. Dr. Francine Shapiro, the creator of EMDR, discovered the impact of eye movements during hikes in nature. She noticed that there was a sense of calm that occurred as a result of the scanning back and forth that occurs when walking outside. We spend less and less time outside. It is to our detriment. It is greatly impacting our children and it also impacts adults. Take a walk outside. Sit in a chair or a bench. Dust off your bike and go for a spin. See how you feel. You might not need therapy but you may need to get outside.
Are you moving your body? What does your step count look like? You’ve heard it before right? Exercise. Blah, blah, blah. Next to sleep, exercise is the next most important factor in your mental health. Did you know that there is a significant increase in depressive symptoms if your step count goes below 5,700 steps each day? Exercise is good for everything. If it were a pill, everyone would take it. Find something you can do and do it. You might not need therapy but you may need to move your body more.
Have you connected with your friends lately? Loneliness is an epidemic in the United States. According to a study from the National Academies of Science Engineering and Medicine, Social isolation significantly increased a person’s risk of premature death from all causes, a risk that may rival those of smoking, obesity, and physical inactivity. Lonliness is also associated with an increased rate of anxiety, depression and suicide. You may not need therapy, but you might need to prioritize your relationships.
Do you feel a sense of purpose? Many people falsely believe that their sense of purpose has to come from their career. It’s great if it does, but it isn’t necessary. Your sense of purpose may come from creating art, helping others through volunteering, parenting, writing or gardening. What do you do that makes you feel light and fulfilled? Do you make time for those activities? What intention do you bring to your daily life? Maybe your sense of purpose comes from bringing beauty to everyday life. Or creating a sense of order so things are easier. Or being present for others and listening well. You may not need therapy but you might need to reconnect with your sense of purpose.
These are just five examples of paths that often can help people get unstuck and move forward. If you are able to explore and experiment with those five examples, you may notice that your experience shifts. However, what happens sometimes is that you may know that you need a shift in one or more of these areas AND you just can’t seem to get there. You are blocked and you don’t know why.
That’s where therapy enters the picture. That’s the time where it is very beneficial to have a trained professional to help you navigate, identify the possible obstacles and then address them together. Many times the obstacles are rooted in past traumas and/or internalized negative beliefs that are locked in. These past overwhelming events act like a log jam in a river, blocking the flow of the life you might be trying to create.
You might not need therapy or it could be a good time to start. You get to decide. There are many, many paths to healing. You get to pick which one feels right to you.
About the Author: Kate Kneifel is a counselor and owner of the Yellow Key Collaborative. Kate brings over 15 years of experience in education working as a classroom teacher and a school social worker to her practice. She’s served children, teens and families at every developmental stage from preschool to high school. Kate takes a client centered approach to therapy while using evidence based methods. She specializes in trauma-informed modalities including EMDR, Internal Family Systems and the Gottman Method. Kate can be found leading various workshops in the Collab Lab or in the community revolving around creative expression, art therapy, and premarital counseling. When Kate is not at the YKC, she enjoys riding her bike around town, quilting, collaging and trying to limit her consumption of reality TV.