Be Kind. Rewind
I used to teach first and second grade. When you are teaching kids that little, a lot of what you are doing is helping them get the classroom procedures down. If you don’t, it’s like herding cats and no learning takes place.
So, the first week of school, a lot of what you’re doing is teaching them how to line up, how to come to the floor and get in a circle and get ready to learn, how to listen to each other, how to clean up and transition to another activity.
Sometimes it went well, other times it didn’t. If I asked them to get lined up for lunch and they all stampeded to the door, I would not yell and scream at them.
Here’s what I’d do instead: Rewind and try it again.
That’s it. I’d simply say, “Uh, oh. That didn’t work out well. Let’s rewind and try it again. This time, let’s remember to use walking feet, not buffalo feet.”
To make it fun, we’d pretend we were actually rewinding ourselves, walking backward and rewinding our words and how we were talking to get back to the starting point. I might even have practice light walking feet versus heavy and fast stampeding buffalo feet.
Then, we’d try it again. And do you know what? It works. When you use a light and humorous tone as a teacher and give the kids permission to try it again, things turn out just fine.
I’ve often thought, what if we offered up a rewind button to ourselves as adults when we don’t get it right the first time.
-You snap at your partner for eating the leftovers you set aside for my lunch.--Rewind, try it again.
-In a fury of frustration, you send out a zinger of an email to a coworker who can’t seem to understand how to hold up his end of the presentation.--Rewind, try it again.
-You have yet another three glasses of wine at night.--Rewind, try it again.
What if you could give yourself the same light permission to choose again. To rewind and try it again.
How can you rewind as an adult?
Give yourself permission to try again. We so often just immediately shut ourselves down. What if teachers did this with kids? “Well, you can’t seem to understand long division, even after two weeks! So we’re just finished with that. You’ll have to just accept you stink at long division.”
Identify the issue. What would you need to try this again? In the lining up example, the kids needed to use walking feet, not buffalo feet. What do you need to interact with that coworker in a way that aligns with who you truly are? What do you need to stay away from drinking three glasses of wine each night?
Rewind it. Actually try it again. This may mean making a repair to try it again.
“I’m sorry I sent that email. It was uncalled for. Can we talk about the best way for us to complete the last part of this presentation?”
It may mean changing something in your environment to try it again. The alcohol may need to be taken out of the house for a bit as you start to seek out alternative ways to unwind each night.
4. Don’t forget compassion and humor. Rewind would not work with first graders if I yelled at them. “DO IT AGAIN! That was terrible. Why can’t you small people get it together!”
How can you approach your situation with compassion, but also humor. We change best by feeling good, not by feeling bad.
For those of you who remember VHS tapes, remember the label that was on every cassette from Blockbuster?
BE KIND. PLEASE REWIND.
Blockbusters are long gone, but the sentiment can live on as you navigate tricky situations.
You got this.