Good Therapy is like a Rearview Mirror
Recently, my husband installed a rear view mirror on my bike. Prior to this particular mirror, I used this tiny mirror that clipped on to my helmet or no mirror at all when I rode my bike.
I try to ride my bike a few days a week. I live close enough to the office that I can get to work by bike in about 20 minutes. Lucky for me, I can also take a path almost that whole way. I live in a very bicycle friendly city. This allows me to safely and easily ride to grocery stores, shopping centers, the library and almost anywhere via a bike path or safe roads.
I’ve ridden these areas up until recently without a consistent rearview mirror. As I mentioned, it is fairly safe and easy to ride around here, so I didn’t really give it much thought. So when I rode for the first time with the bigger, easy to see rear view mirror mounted on my bike, a few things really surprised me.
I felt a sense of underlying anxiety lift.
Have you ever only realized you were feeling anxious about something once that something shifted in some way? Were you not sure you were worried about that phone call until you hung up and it went well and you let out a long sigh of relief? Or didn’t realize how much the traffic on the highway had your shoulders jacked up to your ears until you pulled into your neighborhood and they dropped without any direction from you? That’s how I felt about riding my bike. Suddenly, I could easily see what might be coming up from behind me and easily adjust as I rode.
The ability to easily see behind me gave me a little bump of pleasure and freedom.
I could check the mirror at any time. I could see what I was passing easily. Did I miss what that sign said? I could take a quick glance in my mirror and check it out. The small increase in my field of vision brought an extra glimmer of goodness to the ride.
The rearview mirror helps you to stay safe on the road.
While this is a big of an obvious statement, what surprised me as well was how good it feels to have a small increase in your safety. The mirror allows me to be more fully present as I ride. I can shift my attention to the nice parts of the ride because my senses don’t have to be quite as heightened to keep me safe with the help of the rearview mirror.
Good therapy is like a rearview mirror for your life.
It’s a rearview mirror for your relationships, for your negative beliefs, for your fears, for your confusion. Good therapy acts like a mirror that allows you to look back. You can reflect on what happened behind you, get a good idea about what is there, and that helps you to inform how you want to move forward. When you are able to see that pickup truck coming at you too fast with a driver who is texting, you can move out of the way. Good therapy broadens your perspective and gives you a clear view. Good therapy helps you to build an increased sense of safety within yourself. You learn what you need to see, where you want to go and to trust yourself to take the steps you need to get there.
Now that I have this great rearview mirror installed on my bike. I have no intention of going back to my tiny wobbly one that I tried to put on my helmet. While it was an okay first try, I will not be going back to that. What have you already tried in your life to gain a better perspective? Is it working?
If you are looking to try something new, therapy might be an option.
About the Author:
Kate Kneifel is a counselor and owner of the Yellow Key Collaborative. Kate brings over 15 years of experience in education working as a classroom teacher and a school social worker to her practice. She’s served children, teens and families at every developmental stage from preschool to high school. Kate takes a client centered approach to therapy while using evidence based methods. She specializes in trauma-informed modalities including EMDR, Internal Family Systems and the Gottman Method. Kate can be found leading various workshops in the Collab Lab or in the community revolving around creative expression, art therapy, and premarital counseling. When Kate is not at the YKC, she enjoys riding her bike around town, quilting, collaging and trying to limit her consumption of reality TV.