Thermometer or Thermostat?
Good things lead to other good things. Have you ever noticed this to be true? Last week, I listened to the Good Life Podcast with Jonathan Fields. In my world, The Good Life Project is a very good thing. If you’ve never heard it, check it out. Recently, he interviewed Jim Kwik on the show. Jim’s mission is to help people use their brains more effectively. This matters and is interesting because he struggled to learn in school, experienced a traumatic brain injury and almost didn’t graduate high school. His life experiences led him to really pursue how our brain learns. He researched and taught himself how to learn and master his brain.
I won’t go into all of the details of the show but one aspect of the interview struck me. Jim emphasises the importance of managing your energy and your mood to unlock your brain. We talked about some ways to notice your energy in last weeks post, “Forget Self Care”. Our mood can be a trickier beast than our energy. We often think our moods are out of our control. While we can’t program ourselves to robotically respond, we can use strategies to maintain or level out our moods.
Jim posed the question: Are you a thermometer or a thermostat? A thermometer takes the temperature of the room. It tells you temperature by reacting to what is occuring. A thermostat has a set point, a goal in mind. Say 75 degrees. It’s set ahead of time. A thermostat then responds to the changes in the room to maintain the 75 degrees, to maintain the goal.
Jim suggests that we try to shift more into the thermostat mindset rather than getting stuck in the thermometer mindset.
As a thermometer, you are at the whim of other people’s moods and energies. Your mood can be quite variable. As a thermostat, you’re able to flex, pivot, zig-zag and respond to maintain your set point. One leaves you feeling frustrated and vulnerable to your environment, the other empowers and perseveres regardless of the external circumstances.
I love a good metaphor. This one got me thinking. Where do I tend to land most of the time? When do I show up as a thermometer or a thermostat?
Walking into my kids’ messy rooms and immediately responding with annoyance and telling them to put things away before asking them about their day...thermometer.
A really long line at the grocery store when I believe more lines should obviously be open...thermometer.
Training for an endurance race and dreading the weekly long run but reminding myself that “This is part of the training process.” ...thermostat
Intentionally thanking my husband when cooks dinner, even though he does it often...thermostat
Thinking about how I want to feel that day and writing it down in the morning...thermostat
What do you notice about your own life? What areas tend to be thermometer areas and which ones are clear thermostats?
If showing up more like a thermostat in your life sounds appealing, then let’s look at what your set point is. What is important to you? How do you want others to feel after spending time with you? Do you want them to feel loved, supported, energized? What do you want to bring into a room?
I’m working on being truly present with the people I encounter, from the crew that came to our home this morning to take down a tree, to my clients, to my children to the cashier at Target. I hope to bring a clear sense of presence, engagement and curiosity to my encounters. That means when I want to be crabby or snappy, I’ll have to adjust.
What about the idea of unintentional thermostats? Can you think of anyone in your life who comes back to a negative state no matter what happens in their life? They could wake up with a great hair day, get into their well running car clean car with a full tank of gas and head off to their well-paid job, but if they get stuck in traffic or their kid gets sick and they need to miss an important meeting, their whole day is ruined. It’s not enough to notice if we have a thermostat or not, but are we intentionally setting it where we want to be?
Thermometer or Thermostat? What’s your set point? What mood state do you want to come back to again and again? How do you want to feel?
How amazing would it be to have the capacity to self adjust and not be at the mercy of the people around you, the weather or how tight your pants are that day?
It’s available and possible. Check out this free PDF to map out your own Thermostat settings.
Until next time, happy experimenting!
Kate